Warning: Creating default object from empty value in /home/jacjac32/notborntorun.com/wp-content/themes/retreat/functions/admin-hooks.php on line 160
August 12, 2013

Balanced on the Edge

Balanced on the Edge

You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge.

~ Danielle LaPorte

I have never been excellent with boundaries. Maybe as a child no one told me no often enough, or I somehow missed the lesson that there were things I couldn’t at least try if not achieve. I have always figured that this somewhat contributed to my success in life – I have not been afraid to try things, to push forward, to test boundaries (mine and others). I have been lucky. I have continued to find my way down a successful path – one that has allowed me to have a comfortable life, personal success and more than I really ever asked for.

I have often approached life like a fitness pursuit. Always looking for the next level of my personal ability like a runner looks for better times or a weightlifter a new PR (personal record)

The two are not that different really – you work hard and continue to put new challenges in front of yourself to see if you can do better. If you run you can always run a little farther, tackle a hill, pick up your pace. CrossFit is built for this – there is always a heavier weight, a harder technique, another rep to add. Life is basically the same if you think about it.It can take a fair amount of trial and error to to get where you want to go in this world, so it’s beneficial to have some resilience. You have to be able to fall down and get up often in this life if you want to push the boundaries of what you can do. I tripped a dozen times trying to do double-unders with a jump rope this week. (and I still can’t even do one, and I am still going to try until I can) My life has been a lot like that in other places too.

You can choose to give up when you don’t do well, or you can trip and try again. And again. And again.

I love pushing up against the edges in my life and seeing where and how I can expand them. But I have learned (more than once in this life) that others may not understand – and sometimes they will outright dislike you for this.

It won’t make me stop. I am not going to become unsuccessful, or less outspoken or weaker because it makes someone uncomfortable. This could sound harsh, but it’s not. I like these parts of my life, and I want to grow them, develop them and push against their edges until I can’t anymore.

But there are downsides. Any successful woman will tell you that achievement when you are female is more easily classified as overacheivement and you are just as likely to be envied, ridiculed or – occasionally – outright hated for your success.

You can end up lonely. Or at least lonelier than you want to want to be.

You can end up tired because if – like me – you want to be a high level achiever in your career, as a parent, in your fitness and more – well, sometimes you find that there is an edge you go over that really is too far and you have to pull back to some place of greater balance.

I guess that’s where I want to live – Balanced on the Edge.

IMG_3156

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s to making the most of Monday.

Jacqueline

 

 

 

2 Comments

Leave a comment
  1. Walter
    August 12, 2013 at 7:33 pm #

    Don’t worry – if you occasionally go over the edge you end up in a new place balancing on a new edge – – which you then get to peak over, around and through and do it all over again! I think the perpetual falling is actually pretty good balance and you’re among the more balanced folks I have the privilege of knowing!

    • Jacqueline Jacques
      August 12, 2013 at 8:28 pm #

      Thank you, Walter…I think I have been pushing it a little more than necessary of late. Sometime you do actually have to acknowledge when you are past your own zone and pull back to be more functional/comfortable/peaceful. That’s the tricky bit for me – I overshoot a lot!

      See you soon,

      Jacqueline