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April 8, 2012

Gone, Gone, Gone

Gone, Gone, Gone

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

~Douglas Adams

I have not written in nearly a week which seems terrible. It also seems  – well – like a real demonstration of my life.

Last week at this time I was returning from a conference in Lake Louise, Canada. Right now I am sitting in the United Lounge at LAX with my 2 boys – ages 10 and 12 – while we wait for a flight to Australia. We are on our way to the OSSANZ meeting in Darwin.

Sometimes, I feel like all my running is training for weeks like this.

I used to make excuses for the insane pace of my life. I also used to try to control it a lot more. but at some point I realized that it did more harm than good – I was living in a sort of constant state of struggle against what was. I spent a lot of energy trying to change thing and hoping that they would be different, and it often kept me from enjoying what was right in front of, me.

Who would have ever thought that letting go and succumbing to chaos would not only make it more tolerable, but might even make it fun?

It also – in some weird way that I never wold have predicted – gave me MORE time.

It’s like this: when I was spending all that energy trying to actively to make my life more scheduled and more predictable, the only way I could see taking time to exercise was if it could fit the perfect schedule that never ever manifested no matter how much I wanted it.

Once I just decided that there would be no schedule, that no norm would be the norm – well, then I was suddenly able to see that things like exercise simply had to happen at the moment that the time arose. When you accept the chaos, spontaneity becomes the rule.

You just go when the moment arises.

And suddenly there is time. More than I ever would have thought.

So this past week while I was working and preparing for this trip and making all the plans for my kids and actually even planning the next trip to Spain – there was time to run. I ran about 18 miles this week. Quietly, happily, peacefully, in the natural spaces that opened up in my life.

Some days I ran well. For a couple of days, my asthma was acting up and I ran gasping a bit for my breath. One day I ran the farthest I have ever run and it felt amazing and I hope it happens again. Like everything else in my life, running is not predictable.

Maybe that’s why it fits.

I used to dream of a predictable life. But I think perhaps my reality is much more interesting.

Next blog from the other side of the world.

Happy Easter. Happy Passover.

For some of you, maybe just a happy weekend.

Jacqueline

 

 

 

 

8 Comments

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  1. Christine K.
    April 8, 2012 at 4:20 pm #

    I live a similar sort of existence. I have 2 young kids (5 and 1)and teach primary school full-time in an inner city neighborhood . I am excellent at making excuses and I go through waves of fighting chaos and accepting it. When I accept the chaos , runs happen and when I fight it runs don’t. I just have to give up control, that’s all 🙂

    • Jacqueline Jacques
      April 8, 2012 at 10:21 pm #

      It’s an odd truth, isn’t it?
      Right now sitting in the Sydney airport with my travel-weary kids and SO wishing I could run.
      Happy Monday

  2. Dawn
    April 8, 2012 at 11:44 pm #

    I would luuuurve to go to Australia, my Dad worked there for a while, I travelled around a bit as a child but not to Oz! Have a fab time!

    Even though I have started writing down my workout schedule for the week I try not to think too much about it, don’t think, just do! (can’t think who said that but someone did….and it wasn’t me…..well, not originally anyway….it has been a long week!!!! ;-)))

    Hope you get to see some of the sights, have you been there before?

    Dawn 🙂

    • Jacqueline Jacques
      April 9, 2012 at 7:33 am #

      Hi Dawn!
      We have arrived – exhausted! I have been to Australia before – but it was almost 20 years ago – and then never to Darwin. The kids are pretty excited – of course the jet lag has not hit yet…
      I’ll definitely get some pics up this week- tho not sure I can run in this heat & humidity.

  3. Katie
    April 10, 2012 at 1:47 am #

    What a great experience! Running is a great way to explore a new city (or country, or continent). And I think it’s great that you are taking your kids along.

    • Jacqueline Jacques
      April 10, 2012 at 2:10 am #

      Thanks, Katie! Ran 5k at sunrise along the Darwin waterfront this AM – through a beautiful park and war memorial. Truly nothing like it. So glad I avoided the treadmill!

  4. Valerie
    April 10, 2012 at 6:35 pm #

    You take amazing photos! I enjoy seeing all the beautiful scenes you post! And as Katie said above, running surely is a great way to explore a new setting, as I discovered last week in Savannah,Ga. My first time there, and managed to run around the city each morning and saw far more than I would have just walking around purely as a tourist! Discovered that city running is way more hazardous than my country roads back home, including cobblestones and distracted drivers, but still worth it! Have a wonderful time in Australia – on my list of places to visit 🙂

    • Jacqueline Jacques
      April 10, 2012 at 7:53 pm #

      Thanks Valerie. Fantasy project for the future is a photo book (in my spare time!)
      More to come from Sydney!
      Jacqueline